The Animal Rescue Site launches petition to protect endangered Broncos

Oblivious Grazing Horse

With Super Bowl XLVIII fast approaching, The Animal Rescue Site has turned its attention to the unintended victims of this widely celebrated contest: the elusive Bronco.

Sea Hawk vs Bronco
A Sea Hawk makes off with its easy prey

Hailing from Denver, this particular breed of the majestic horse is the natural prey of the Seahawk, a predatory seabird that makes its home in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. Encounters between the two are rare but are thought to typically result in a tragic bloodbath for the enfeebled Bronco.

While “bronco” may colloquially refer to any untrained or feral horse, identified by their habitual bucking, the Denver Bronco represents a special breed notorious for its largely flamboyant tendencies, including the inexplicable navy and orange markings found on its coat. This same lack of discipline bleeds into other aspects of the animal’s natural defenses, making it prone to capture, taming, and ultimately domestication by a superior species, such as the Seahawk.

The Seahawk, by contrast, strikes terror in the heart of its prey, incapable of detecting the stealthy raptor until the last possible moment, after all hope of escape is lost. The victim’s only warning comes in the form of the Seahawk’s triumphant call, which can be expected as the Seahawk stands over the broken carcass of its most recent kill.

The Twelfth Chicks
And these are just the babies…

The Broncos are known to graze at an altitude of one mile above sea level, but this acclimation will provide little defense against the ravenous sea hawk. Additionally, the leader of the Bronco herd lacks the mobility to evade the razor sharp talons of his pursuer, and despite the Bronco’s superior size, many wildlife experts agree they stand little chance against the Seahawk’s dizzying speed and agility.

Due to this impending an inevitable clash, The Animal Rescue Site, renowned for its tireless work helping at-risk animals and species, has posted a new online petition calling for the protection of these now-endangered Broncos. Worse still, a major cable network plans to profit by nationally television the spectacle to the delight of millions of mystified onlookers.

The Animal Rescue Site is committed to helping animals of all species, regardless of their affiliation with certain professional sports leagues. It should also be noted that The Animal Rescue Site operates out of Seattle, a city that takes major pride in its sports teams. Enough pride to write harmless, satirical pieces rooted in a friendly, competitive spirit. No animals, real or imagined, were harmed in the writing of this post but that doesn’t mean they don’t need our help. You can show your support for these fine animals by signing a real petition at The Animal Rescue Site.
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