Can You Tell These Pumpkins Apart From Dogs? Probably Not!Matthew Russell
What better way to herald autumn than the gorgeous gourd known as the pumpkin. Its vivacious orange signals another harvesting season come to completion; nature’s bounty in the form of pies, jack-o-lanterns, roasted seeds, and organic vegan smoothies awaits.
The pumpkin is truly a wonder, as it’s almost inseparable from the season itself. Far from just a vegetable, pumpkin has even been canonized in the form of latte and frozen yogurt; its coming is foretold of each year in hints of cinnamon, nutmeg, and fashionable boots.
Squash prophecy aside, perhaps the most amazing thing about the prolific pumpkin is the fact that, to many Americans who observe the Gregorian calendar, they are indistinguishable from domesticated canines. Not every pumpkin looks like a dog, of course, so we’ve gathered the following images to demonstrate in stark contrast the differences between Cucurbita pepo, the common North American pumpkin, and Canis familiaris, the domesticated dog.
The most common species of pumpkin is known for being squat and orange, growing from a tendril of vine. They are typically found in patches, although some intrepid gardeners find cement steps and centerpieces work just as well. Observe here, a pumpkin displayed in all of fall’s glory as a mantelpiece that truly makes a house a home.
Pumpkins are typically found near the end of the harvesting season, but greenhouse technology allows us to enjoy their beta carotene year-long. Some pumpkins are prized for sweetness and thin skin, for ease of use in pies, while others are known for making perfectly plump jack-o-lanterns. One thing the pumpkin is not, is a dog.
Seen here, a pumpkin nears harvest as its foliage peels back, revealing its smooth orange outer shell. You can almost smell it.
While pumpkins are known for their squatness, their orangeness, their pumpkiness; dogs are inherently the opposite. There are no such thing as dog spice lattes, and for good reason. The boutique coffee industry would crumble under the demands. Dogs are also sentient creatures, they have emotions, and operate on a cognitive level that pumpkins and some humans will never ascend to.
Some of the smartest dogs have saved their humans from imminent danger, prevented serious crimes, and even rescued missing children. Pictured here, a government-employed drug-sniffing dog takes down Garcia Cartegena, ruthless cocaine lord of the Calenque Isles.
Americans love their dogs — sometimes a little too much. While it may seem cute to dress up a dog in a costume for Halloween, there are several reasons why you should be as minimal as possible, and avoid upsetting your pup. The all-too-common full-body costume is a veritable claustrophobic nightmare for some dogs, and should be avoided at all costs. You can still show off your pup’s potential with a flashy collar or some other small accessory, through.
Seen here, a neighborhood Halloween party featuring dogs of all sorts, each as happy as the next to be costume free, and none of them pumpkins. Notice the Weimaraners with their dazzling display, and the Corgi’s cute diorama. The bulldog looks a little keen on meeting that punch bowl, but what’s a Halloween party without a few spooky spills, right?
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