A ‘neurotic’ and ‘man hating’ chihuahua is going viral and winning hearts all over, thanks to one rescuer’s brutally honest adoption post.
After attempting to write a nice adoption post that highlighted some of Prancer’s better qualities, Tyfanee Fortuna was about to give up. The truth was, she couldn’t think of any positive qualities he had at all.
That’s when she decided to be brutally honest instead and let everyone know that her “neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating” dog was in need of a loving forever home.
Fortuna detailed all of the horribly true things about Prancer, in hopes that one person will have the space to open their hearts for a “13 lb rage machine.”
She started the post saying, “I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound…palatable. The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins. But I have to believe there’s someone out there for Prancer, because I am tired and so is my family.”
She continued to describe how every day they life in the “grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.”
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When she got Pracer, he was overweight and hadn’t been properly socialized. She said, “He was owned by an elderly woman who treated him like a human and never socialized him. Sprinkle in a little genetic predisposition for being nervous, and you’ve concocted a neurotic mess, AKA Prancer.”
At first, he was so afraid that he didn’t show much personality, which Fortuna much preferred. Before she knew what his personality was like, she was excited to see him relax a little. She said, “He was quiet, and just laid on the couch. Didn’t bother anyone. I was excited to see him come out of his shell and become a real dog.”
That excitement quickly faded as she’s now convinced that he’s not a real dog at all. “I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home,” she said.
If Prancer sounds like a good fit for you’re home, it’s important to note that he will only do well in a house with women. As Fortuna explained, “Prancer only likes women. Nothing else…If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him.”
She continued to note that Prancer also won’t tolerate other animals or children. She said, “Have other dogs? Cats? Don’t apply unless they like being shaken up like a ragdoll by a 13lb rage machine.”
“We also mentioned no kids for Prancer. I think at this point, you can imagine why. He’s never been in the presence of a child, but I can already imagine the demonic noises and shaking fury that would erupt from his body if he was. Prancer wants to be your only child,” she explained.
So when Fortuna said that Prancer needs a home with only women, she meant it. No kids. No other animals. No men.
For his better qualities, Fortuna did note that Prancer serves as quite the security dog. She said, “He offers better protection than capitol security.” Beyond that, he’s incredibly loyal. Though, Fortuna did note that Prancer would most likely, “run away screeching” if someone tried to kill you.
Prancer is housebroken, which is a plus, and he enjoys car rides and having a constant companion. He’s not destructive, even when left alone, and some people may find him “kind of cute to look at.”
If you’d like to adopt Prancer, you can do so through the Second Chance Pet Adoption League.
Fortuna ended the post with one final tidbit of information. She said, “Oh, also he’s only 2yrs old and will probably live to be 21 through pure spite, so take that into account if you’re interested.”
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