We love our pets but they don’t always act like us rational humans. When those furry friends leave us questioning their sanity there seems to be no better depository for pet stories than the internet. Thousands of Redditors have contributed their own stories to a question first posted by reddit_last_week.
“What kind of stupid, idiotic, and just plain wrong things do you see your pets doing,” the Redditor asked. “I cannot contribute because I have tutored my dog from age 1 and he is a genius and incapable of stupidity.”
Some brought up their pets’ lack of foresight, others their need to lick or chew something at all times. One dog never learned that alternating your paws was the best way to dig, and would wind up with a snout full of dirt every time he went at it with both. Another ate a feather duster and left a trail of bright yellow feathers for days. Over 3,300 comments were submitted to the thread, and here are our favorites.
9. It’s Getting Hot in Here
As slingbladerunner points out, “It only takes chasing a flaming cat around your house once to learn NEVER to have cats and lit candles in the same room.”
Redditor __rachelkitten would have had quite a mess on her hands, were it not for her keen sense of smell.
My cat likes to jump up onto the stove top to sneak some leftovers,” __rachelkitten posted. “One time we smelled something burning and went in to the kitchen only to discover she had turned on one of the burners. She was on fire, but somehow she hadn’t noticed. She is very fluffy.”
8. The Truth Will Shock You
Reminiscent Redditor Dark-Hero shared an animal tale from his younger years.
“Growing up we had a llama that would lick the electric fence. It eventually got the the point we had to turn off then fence. Afterwards we would go outside and see Llama licking fence with a very disappointed look on her face,” he posted.
Images of the rare “llamenting” animal, as Redditor irishtu put it, are highly sought after. A single mention of the name will spark a flood of cascading comments.
7. Tear Down this Wall
Hindsight is 20/20 but it’s foresight that trips up a lot of us, especially InferiousX’s dog.
“My dad’s Samoyed was probably the dumbest animal our family ever owned. I literally watched him just straight up walk into a wall one time,” InferiousX posted. “He didn’t clip a corner or hit it while running away/doing something else, etc. He just got right up and walked directly into a wall while looking at it.”
6. Closed Door Policy
One Redditor’s mini Schnauzer had trouble getting back in the house safely after answering nature’s call.
“As he was finished doing his business would run right back and leap the three back steps to land inside the house. On multiple occasions, however, he did not realize that the sliding glass door at the top of said steps was closed,” the Redditor posted. “After crashing into it and sitting confused for a few seconds, he would decide that the reason he did not make it into the house was because he didn’t have enough momentum, and would run back across the yard, turn around, and try again. If I heard the crash I had to act fast to get the door open before he tried a second time.”
A league of other Redditors had similar stories to share, but a consensus was reached between them: your post will get more upvotes if you include the onomatopoeic “whump” when describing pet meeting door.
5. I’m Sleeping Here
Cats are notorious for sitting, perching, sleeping, and loafing essentially wherever they can find balance. One Redditor’s cat is a little more choosy than that but that doesn’t mean that it’s learned from bad habits.
“My cat Olive would always sleep on top of my chairs back rest. No matter how many times it happened she would wake up from some twitchy dream and fall, she would still go back and sleep there,” davidy323 posted. “It got to the point that I put a pillow below where I knew she would fall because she kept doing it over and over. I would be laying on the couch then I’d see her start to twitch and without fail, she would wake up and bang hit the pillow. Then she would look right at me like it was my fault and walk away like she meant to do that.”
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