An Anonymous Threat Prompts Online Cat Flap, And It’s HilariousMatthew Russell
A series of letters between two residents on the British Isle of Walney including threats of catnapping, and it’s got the internet in an uproar of laughter.
Their cats probably find the exchange amusing, too.
Like many cat owners, Karl Hart lets his cat roam as it pleases.
According to the Mail, it’s not so much appreciated by his neighbor, however. And one day, Hart found a letter on his door with a warning to keep it indoors, lest it be catnapped and taken to the RSPCA.
“He is constantly through our cat flap and eating all our cat’s food throughout the day,” the anonymous author wrote of Walney’s fleet-footed feline.
“My cat needs to be on a special diet that is expensive, he trashes my kitchen opening cat pouches all over the floor.
“Each time I catch him from now on I will take him to the RSPCA, which will be inconvenient for you as I commute to work, so will be Lancaster, Kendal, Blackpool, Preston and sometimes Scotland. So each time I catch him I will take him to a different one so you will have to pick him up.
“You need to maybe get him a cat flap so he isn’t locked out all day or at least feed him now and again. This is neglect. He is a beautiful boy and if I didn’t already have my cat I would take him in microchipped or not and I wouldn’t let him out.
“Please keep him in or at least feed him otherwise travelling around the country with him is my next step with him.
“My cat needs his diet regulating and your cat keeps eating it all. Thank you.”
In realizing his neighbor’s anguish, Hart thought it best to reply with his own letter. There was no need to escalate the situation.
“To the anonymous lady threatening to abduct my cat.
“Firstly; let me assure you that I do appreciate your frustration with Winston coming into your house and eating your cat’s food.
“I too find other cats entering my house through the cat flap that is present and eating the food that is here.
“I however see it as an acceptable hazard of allowing my cat to come and go as he pleases.
“Secondly; please be assured that as I do not follow Winston on his adventures, and he doesn’t report back to me on them, the letter you posted through my door was the first I’ve heard of him freeloading off you.
“In all seriousness, in order to prevent what appears to be your objective of making my life hard by travelling around the country to retrieve my cat (in no way stopping him helping himself to your cats food once he’s home and exploring again) I would like to offer to buy you a new cat flap that only your cat can access.
“Please get in touch with me to organise a rational solution to this issue.
“Also, if you happen to be friends with the lady please pass this message along.”
Hart has been fielding comments on his post ever since. No one seems to know who wrote the fist letter, but plenty of his Facebook friends are willing to comment on how to handle the situation.
He has received a few new cat flap suggestions out of the thread, too.